Official Schedule

• Arrival – Thursday, September 16th in Scotland (vaccination in advance) Begin with an official visit to Queen Elizabeth at her palace in Edinburgh.
• That afternoon travel to Glasgow (riot gear provided),  celebrate Mass at Bellahouston Park.
• Thursday evening continue on to London. (Game Boy provided for entertainment during journey)
• Friday, September 17th,  begin with a meeting for Catholic educators at St. Mary’s University College.
• Later in the morning participate in an interfaith assembly. (cou-bollox-gh)
• In the afternoon visit the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams, and then lead an ecumenical assembly at Westminster Abbey.
• Saturday 20th meet with Prime Minister David Cameron (nob) and with opposition leader Harriet Harman.
• Then preside at Mass in the cathedral at Westminster.
• That afternoon visit a nursing home. (vetted to guarantee minimal blacks and absolutely no known gays)
• In the evening lead a prayer vigil in Hyde Park, leading up to Sunday’s beatification of Cardinal John Henry Newman. (gay)
• Preside at the beatification ceremonies on Sunday, September 19th, at Cofton Park in Birmingham.  (Jasper Carrot)
• Following that ceremony visit the Oratory that Cardinal Newman made famous.
• Meeting with the Catholic bishops of England, Wales, and Scotland. (chocolate spread available)
• Return to Rome on Sunday night.

Briefing:

Scotland

This is one of the most beautiful countries in the world with spectacular mountains and breath taking views.  The sun shines for 2 hours a year, the rest of the year it’s cold and rain is as common as a Catholic Pedophile.   A nation full of pride and passion which you’d find hard to surpass,  brave and mostly ginger are it’s people.  This dress wearing (gay) nation have suffered in it’s past, however with true grit and a tremendous determination they have managed to make sure that they are still victims and they will remain down trodden and miserable for as long as they wish.

Famous Scots –

Rab C Nesbitt
Liam Neeson
Mel Gibson

National Sport –

Sulking

National Food –

Haggis (don’t ask)
Anything battered

National Pastime –

Alcohol
Drugs
Hating the English

England:

A country which boasts a rich and prosperous past which over the years has helped shape the world to what it is today.  With an ability and determination to invade other countries with a complete disregard for it’s inhabitants, England has shown the way to flourish at the expense of others.  With it’s high morals and values this country has consistently shown that it is willing to *uck anybody over to keep that seat at the big boys table.

London:

London is a place where you strive to show that not only are you successful, but you’re also a successful cock. (status thing)

Famous Londoners –

Jack the Ripper
Madonna

Birmingham:

Great city, however there are many blacks, browns, gays, crips and woman wondering around freely with an absolutely *ucking awful accent.

Famous Brummies –

Frank Skinner
Pete Ashton
Nick Booth

National Sport –

Polo
Illegal Invasions

National Food –

Curry (dirty food)

National Pastime –

Drinking Tea
Secret Porn